Blog

Guesssss whossss BACK

hi hello im back in school and im heavily commited to like 20 things so this has been the last thing on my mind to update soooooooo oops... anyways ive quit (haitus) on like half my gacha game cuz i cannot do that every day... I still play hsr and p5x (kinda) and pokemon tcg but everything else meh. no time. anyways I would love to work on this but school is literally taking up all my time and its not because its hard lol. Ok so basically im doing fine in all my classes cuz im super epic and smart (woah!) but it feels like a slog to get through the day cuz im bored outta my mind. if i could i would work on this sit but SADLY neocities is blocked on my school provided laptop (womp womp) so cant do that.. maybe ill write like blogs during school tho since i could just email myself the entries... ANYWAYS. like im bored af sitting in class cant use my phone bc of their stupid policies and then i stay an additional 3 hours after for this club im highkey commited too. so already thats 11 hours of my life wasted away :'[ and when i come home i eat (ofc) and then do like 20 minutes of hw and go on my phone cuz im burnt out. the only reason why im able to write this on was bc i had an amazing 5 day breaks huzzah. but the next 3 weeks will be hells.. 5 day weeks with no breaks.. ill survive probably until winter break and THEN its time to update the hell outta this blog ill tell u.

also while ive been away i havent been learn html and css nor js so im hella rusty LOLOLOl this site is cooked lowkey.. anyways ive been playing games or reading i finally had some time to catch up with my manhwas and stuff over this break. read like a few BLs and Gls and het stuff been good nothing ground breaking. Im planning on making something that will show my reading list thats my plan :p its a big project so i hope i figure it out.

on a serious note (TW: suicide, depression, vent section) ive been struggling with undiagnosed high functioning depression which SUCKSS sometimes the only way to get through the day is me promising myself ill kill myself by next week. ofc i cant do that cuz i have too many responsibities! which might be the only thing holding me back. forcing myself to live to take care of my parents and brother is probably the only way. Also the weight of working for a bunch of these is whats holding me down too like the wikis im working on or the clubs im in. idk i think its like the feeling that my choices are selfish or smth. anyways cant get diagnosed cuz my parents refuse to get me treated for anything...

enough of that sad stuff now im gonna end it off here cuz i cant think of any other topics to write abt lol
song rec of this blog will be MAGIC by Ado. its fun idk i like the beat of it. so long for hopefull a shorter time :] ~ . 𖥔 ݁ ˖ TarT ‧ ⁺ ˚ * ･ ༓

First blog hiii.

anyways this is technically not the first blog on this site since there was another one but i deleted it along with the old old old styling of this site... so its lost to time now RIP! i wanna try writting weekly buuut yk time and stuff so its probably gonna be monthly at most lmao.

so yesterday i was going nuts on my gacha games holy in total i think i pulled like 4 five stars between all of them. I lost on ju fufu's banner to rina :[ which sucks cuz i kinda needed her for yixuan but i'll live ig. on the brightside i have someone to use for harumasa? ig not sure. next i FINALLY pulled Joker on p5x omg that man brought me to like hard pity idk if theres a soft pity in that game too lazy to check lol. anyways hes strong asf so im happy. finally in hsr i was just doing some random standard single pulls and then BOOM bronya and i was like "oh cool another copy!" and then i did another single and BOOM himeko's lc like wow.... i think thats the 2nd? time ive pulled back to back 5*s in a hoyo game.. (first time was wayy back during yoimiya's first banner on her weapon banner and i got TWO skyward blades like bruh GIVE ME HER WEAPON ??? HELLO??) also like im searching up all the names on the respective wikis bc whos got time to remember like 100 names good lord.

also this whole summer ive been staying at home 24/7 aughhh... i wanna go outside but i'd probably die after 10 steps 😭. i already get lightheaded walking up the stairs in my own home. also i cant swim for shit so i'll be cooked if i go to the pool.

anyways i got the idea of making this kind of site bc i kept getting neocity videos in my recommended and i was like "oh i know some html and css this cant be so hard" and BOY was i wrong. still i persevere! i made a mock up of what i want this site to look like and honestly i think im getting there :> im also thinking abt making a p5 theme alongside this these (which is based on p3r's ui) so im excited for that when i finish building the core stuff. but sadly that probably will be WAYYY in the future. something i also REALLY wanna add is a widget to show the current moon phase that uses the icons p3r uses. i think it would look reallly cool but issues 1. cant code in js 2. idk how to use an api 3. idk where to start.. so in conclusion idk if i can make that LOL. maybe ill go bug one of my programmer friends if they can help wtih that.. dont count on it. also i wanna add some kind of weather tracker and calender system thingy but again idk how to use js and set times and stuff so gonna have to watch a yt tutorial or smth.

also is it just me or i prefer readable content over a video. i have a really short attention span (i watch everything on 2x speed) so if i have to watch a video i get bored asf (especially if its unskippable) but for an article i can flip through it real fast and understand what it's saying. like during school my teachers LOVED assigning videos we need to watch so we can fill in into onto a sheet. i hated it so muchhhhh life hack go into the desc and if its an educational vid go into transcript and ctrl F to find the answers UNLESS its a stupid edpuzzle omg i hate those so much they are my #1 enemy. I had to watch some stupid audio book of this book we were reading and they guy was so fucking slow and i already finished the book by the time the first ONE HOUR video was done... there were like 6 other videos after too and i couldnt even leave it in the background too bc theres stupid questions AND it pauses when u tab out AND ONTOP OF THAT my teacher has something so they can watch ur screen on their screen (stupid i know) so they would lock my screen everytime i would go off task.. LIKE I WAS JUST PLAYING MINESWEEPER CHILL.. and i HAD to watch the full thing or else i got a 0 in the gradebook yuck... anyways thats just my opinion on that i dont hate u if ur an audio only learner its just i hate when audio is the only option. :/

now idk how to end this but thanks for getting through my ramblings arc 1 :] i guess at the end ill recommend a song for u to listen to. (my tastes are vocaloid and jpop btw!) today's blog song is gonna be "Radiant Revial" by Jamie Paige! its a upbeat song and its in english too! go give it a listen :] ok byeee now cya later !! ~ . 𖥔 ݁ ˖ TarT ‧ ⁺ ˚ * ･ ༓